I've spent most of my life second-guessing myself. My insecurities have always shined through the moment someone of authority crosses my path. These people- they don't know me, but they won't hesitate to tell me what they think I should stand for. I listen. I question myself. I forget who I am. I forget what I want. I forget where I'm going. And just like that, I'm lost. Grasping for something "out there" to show me what's inside myself. Some confirmation that I'm doing it "the right way". How backwards.
And so it continues until I'm exhausted. I often have to retreat to regain focus. It is in the retreat where I can see what I've stood for all along: love. All ego, judgement and arrogance aside. I stand for love. I only wish I could be unwavering in my love. I want the balance of hearing someone else's opinion of me minus the affected outcome. I hope to go through tomorrow with an unshakable me.
And so it continues until I'm exhausted. I often have to retreat to regain focus. It is in the retreat where I can see what I've stood for all along: love. All ego, judgement and arrogance aside. I stand for love. I only wish I could be unwavering in my love. I want the balance of hearing someone else's opinion of me minus the affected outcome. I hope to go through tomorrow with an unshakable me.
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